Last week I was fired up!
To say I was at my wit’s end would be an understatement.
You may remember in my column last week I was questioned why a certain breed of men seemed so angry at the moment.
It was following a horrendous rant from a former “Married at First Sight” contestant – I won’t name him again because he’s frothing for an extra five minutes of fame – about women being in the “danger zone” and “unmarriable” after the age of 27.
Yes, how utterly ridiculous.
But what it really highlighted was a reoccurring narrative that there are angry men out there desperate to tear women down at any given opportunity.
The spite, and anger behind his rant was palpable.
So, I called it out.
As it was published I mentally armored myself up.
I was prepared to be inundated with furious messages and comments from followers of these “toxic ‘men.”
I was expecting a fierce backlash, despite what I thought was a very fair opinion.
Thankfully I’ve become immune to the usual comments, pointing out my “saggy boobs” or “high forehead” or frightful age.
I’m 39.
Let’s be honest, they’re not exactly Gandhi with their wise counterarguments.
What I didn’t expect was what happened next.
Men filled the comments section and my DMs with messages of support, agreeance and the venting of mutual outrage.
Many shared that they were so tired of these misogynistic rants and horrified that women might think they were all painted with the same brush.
Some of them carried a degree of fame and were brave enough to write from their own very public Instagram accounts.
Including comedian Merrick Watts who wrote: “My mum said something to me when I was 8, I reminded her of it last weekend. ‘Never trust a man who doesn’t like women, there’s something wrong with them.’”
His simple yet impactful comment was inundated with likes.
You love to see it.
Chef Colin Fassnidge backed it up with his own insight saying “Never had a good father role model then …” which I think is fairly accurate.
Other men stated, “It saddens me as a father of two teenage girls that these creeps are out there spreading such vile thought. I will keep raising my two strong-willed, independent & smart young women to know they deserve to be treated with respect.”
And another, “They aren’t men they are boys, such shameful behaviour” and “I certainly don’t understand why these so called ‘men’ are so angry with women. Perhaps I was just lucky to have a father who respected women and treated his wife and my mum accordingly.”
On and on they went like that.
One lady even wrote: “Can I just say, I’m impressed with the number of supportive comments on this post by the male voice. Bravo, maybe not all is lost.”
And I think she hit the nail on the head.
I’m not going to lie; I may have become a bit emotional.
It turns out that the majority of men are also tired of these angry gremlins sprouting their hate all over the place.
They too think what these toxic trolls are saying is utterly ridiculous and let’s be honest, dangerous.
Many asked what they can do to help, and the answer is; march in the protests alongside us, call out friends when they air beliefs or actions that could be harmful towards women, stop turning a blind eye to questionable behavior, and as a friend said, “remind yourselves that the standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”
Rather than feeling deflated by the state of men right now, I feel heartened by it all.
I loved the public sharing of disbelief.
It felt like a start.
A good step in the right direction.
Last week I asked men to step up to the plate and help us sort this problem, and this week I’m so honestly filled with pride to see that they are doing just that. In droves.
Let’s keep it going.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
