No Movie Cast Is Hotter Than ‘The Mummy’s, Prove Me Wrong

The Big Picture

• The Mummy
  , released in 1999, has cinema’s most absurdly sexy cast.
• Brendan Fraser’s Rick O’Connell is an ideal leading man thanks to his charisma, competency, and his romance with Rachel Weisz’s Evie Carnahan, a dazzling queen among nerd women.
• The Mummy’
  s villains share a 3,000-year-old romance that amplifies their existing attractiveness, while the underrated supporting characters round out the cast’s chemistry.

Ah, The Mummy: the movie that historians, archaeologists, and Bembridge scholars hold responsible for a mass bisexual awakening. Name me another film that delivers a cultural touchstone so gleefully; I’ll wait. Writer-director Stephen Sommers‘s popcorn flick remake of the Universal Monsters classic didn’t need to go so hard with its cast’s concurrent beauty. Courageously, it did so anyway. If there’s one thing society can agree on, it’s The Mummy‘s daisy chain of absurd sexiness — the entire cast, head to toe, front to back, dancing in a chorus line with synchronized kicks. What was the reason? Why deploy this on an unsuspecting world? There’s the logical answer (attractive people make money) and the nefarious master plan I have invented for this essay. Universal deliberately cursed us with a thirst as desperate as someone stranded without water in the desert. If you claim you haven’t been down bad for someone in The Mummy, you’re lying.

‘The Mummy’ Is Brendan Fraser’s Sexiest Role

It’s only appropriate we begin this hearing with The Mummy‘s leading man. In 1997’s George of the Jungle, Brendan Fraser spent most of his screentime bare-chested and rippling. He barely loosens his shirt collar for The Mummy, but Rick O’Connell is Fraser’s Mount Everest of hotness. Filtered through Fraser playing the “scoundrel with a heart of gold” archetype but bucking tradition with strikingly charismatic and almost cartoon-ish acting choices, our hero is rugged, charming, curmudgeonly, a stan for his lady love, and evinces a MacGyver-sized skill set.

What are those skills? He’s a crack shot and a natural with a sword, capable of slashing up mummies while jumping, sliding, and spin-kicking, with an over-the-shoulder backhand for good measure. Rick demonstrates brains and brawn. He’s competent without being a swaggering dolt, and we know competence is hot enough to fry the sexy measurement meter like a hard-boiled egg while the meter shrieks for mercy. Rick’s cleverness helps him improvise tactics, like weaponizing a cat against Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo) and football hiking a chair into a running Beni’s (Kevin J. O’Connor) legs. He side-eyes the spooky weirdness up to a point, then does what any sensible person would in a horror movie: nopes the hell out. And all without breaking The Mummy‘s immersion. A big mood and capable in a fight? Here’s my number.

Thanks to Fraser, that scoundrel exterior only goes so far. He’s never cruel or belittling. Rick respects Evelyn Carnahan (Rachel Weisz) and values her expertise. He reluctantly melts for her and he knows it. He’s just smitten enough to not make a fuss. In fact, when he gives Evelyn a gift, he’s bashful. As the kids say, that’s king behavior. Rick O’Connell isn’t Indiana Jones or Errol Flynn but a creation of Fraser’s instincts. His comedic timing is an expertise that can’t be taught. He slides between the emotional beats and imbues them with vital necessity. Aside from the surprise kiss, Rick O’Connell is, in fact and in perpetuity, perfect. He shifts the dream man paradigm to a place cinema has yet to match.

Then there’s that fit, a thirst trap blessing that isn’t disguised. Those snug tan pants paired with a white shirt, knee-high brown boots, and a holster — enough said. Or not, because I could earn a PhD in why Rick’s default outfit is a Look with a capital L. I’m a woman with simple needs.

Rachel Weisz Is a Nerd Girl’s Inspiration in ‘The Mummy’

As we’ve established, competency is sexy. So is running circles around stereotypes. Enter the singular Evie Carnahan, First of Her Name, Queen of inspiring the nerd girls who daydreamed about earning librarian degrees. From the gleefully chipper mood — talking to her books as she shelves them — to the blouse-skirt combo, Evie is the vibe I’ve spent my life chasing.

The fact is, if you don’t adore Evelyn in her aspiring spinster glasses era, you don’t deserve her at her world-saving peak. She isn’t just a win for the bookish outcasts, but for the quirky and clumsy dorks who aren’t defined by their pratfalls. Evie’s desire for knowledge is insatiable. She’ll step over her brother Jonathan’s (John Hannah) prone body to secure her prize. The narrative never questions her brilliance, only boosts it. She assesses a cataclysmic situation, keeps ten steps ahead, and asserts her agency. Without Evie, everyone would perish, and The Mummy would be 10 minutes long. Talk about hot AF.

And Weisz’s radiant smiles? Brain.exe has crashed. Evie doesn’t need a glow-up, but the appreciative glances she shares with Rick go both ways and emphasize the romance at The Mummy‘s heart. Of course Rick and Evie immediately have a baby in The Mummy Returns and stay that married couple who obnoxiously swoon over one another.

‘The Mummy’ Said Villain Rights

Speaking of devoted couples — let’s hear Imhotep out. Maybe he has a point. Here’s a romantic just trying to reunite with his soulmate. He does it all for love. What other man’s heart stays true through 3,000 years of tortured undead commitment? He grieves, he longs, he’s aflame with passion and tenderness. This isn’t just romance novel material, it’s prestige fine dining. Someone call a lawyer, because we have an iron-clad case for supporting villain’s rights and villain’s wrongs.

The moment Evie, Beni, and a fully regenerated Imhotep return to Hamunaptra via Imhotep’s Sand Cyclone Transport Service, when he struts forward with his cloak fluttering behind him, my brain chemistry altered. The confident power is a rewind-and-repeat moment for the ages. And once it’s time to resurrect his beloved, Imhotep wisely decides clothes aren’t in fashion and strides around in a loin-cloth, all while being a master of smug evil smirks. Still, let’s be honest with ourselves: his mummy form is kind of, well, you know. Don’t deny that cinched waist and broad-shouldered stalk. Sir, although I would rather kiss you, I would be honored if you drained my organs dry and turned my bones to ash.

As for his beloved Anck-su-namun (Patricia Velásquez) — she strides onscreen, burns our eyeballs, and changes lives five minutes into the movie. I, too, would risk my soul’s eternal damnation for her love. Stabbing the Pharaoh is prime “good for her” energy, and she takes her fate into her hands, charging Imhotep with her rebirth. It might be small work in the world of feminist empowerment, but it’s a far cry from the fleeing victims of lore. “My body is no longer his temple,” indeed.

‘The Mummy’s Cast Has Perfect Chemistry

We save the best for last because I’m biased towards my childhood favorite. Sorry, Aragorn, but Ardeth Bay (Oded Fehr) did the hella rugged and noble warrior routine before The Lord of the Rings. (If only Ardeth had giant doors to shove open in slow motion.) The definition of “so tall and handsome as hell” and a commanding presence who slays in black, he’s charged with a mission and will fulfill it by any means. The intensity, the sizzling stares, the impeccable bone structure — because why have cheekbones capable of cutting glass when Ardeth’s jaw can light a match? Once his messy curly hair emerges, drooping in artistic piles over his eyes, the earth’s tectonic plates evaporate into gaseous liquid.

Ardeth’s big hero moment features him running straight into danger, leading viewers to assume he valiantly died. Our boyfriend has no time for that. He slices and dices his way through hordes of undead, chills outside waiting for the others, and declares that Rick and the Carnahans are his friends. Then, he dips, leaving these fools to travel home alone. The exit is that way, foreigners. Oded Fehr deserves his flowers and then some.

Finally, we have Jonathan, the criminally underrated silver medal-winner of my affections. John Hannah rocks the Stanley Tucci effect of unconventional but engaging attractiveness. The Jonathan of The Mummy adores his baby sister without exception, hits a moving target while drinking, and has idle thief fingers. With Rick and Evie are too soulmate-bound to interrupt, the wheel of attractiveness has landed on marriage material you bring home to your parents. His teasing Evie about Rick’s handsomeness can also be read as mutually appreciative siblings, a queer reading I endorse.

Even though The Mummy‘s production experienced growing pains, one can hardly tell. The actors make the screwball rom-com/action-adventure/horror fusion sparkle, and their joint chemistry causes a chain reaction of concentrated lightning. The Mummy wouldn’t be nearly as sexy without the attuned performances, an atmosphere constructed out of little details, and the runaway fun of using “who was your Mummy crush?” as an icebreaker question.

The Mummy is available to rent or buy on Prime Video in the U.S.

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