A FORMER trad wife has shared a warning to women, after revealed the struggles she faced after getting divorced.
A trad wife (short for traditional wife) is a woman who chooses to take on an ultra traditional role in marriage, meaning she makes dinner and looks pretty whilst her husband goes to work.
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Trad wives choose to dress in the style of clothing popular in this period ( think floral dresses and frumpy cardigans).
Additionally, the values considered important to tradwvies are similar to strict Christian values.
Trad wives state that they are not forced into this way of life, and believe that it is their purpose to be homemakers.
Ally revealed that she was a trad wife for 12 years, and said she threw decades of her life “down to the toilet” doing laundry and dishes.
The mum-of-four explained that she had worked in IT before her marriage, and said that the field had advanced so much by the time she got divorced, that she no longer had the skills relevant to the job.
Because of this, Ally said she was limited to working in an IT call centre, which was not enough to feed her children
Ally warned that popular trad wife influencers are not actually traditional wives at all, as they are making money from social media, so will have an income to fall back on if their marriage doesn’t work out.
She added that glamorising this lifestyle is tone deaf, as many families need two incomes to support themselves, due to the high cost of living.
The TikToker said: “If you build your bond with your spouse based on what you look like and being presentable, and what you can give him at all times, you’re short-changing yourself”.
She revealed that some of the most beautiful women she knows have been cheated on, so trying to be perfect for a man, doesn’t always work out.
Ally said: “By completely submitting to a man, your ability to take care of your children is based on whether he still loves you tomorrow.”
The former trad wife’s video, which was posted under the username @anonymousally198, has likely left many open-mouthed, as it has racked up over 100,000 views on the video sharing platform.
TikTok users raced to the videos comments section to share their thoughts.
One person said: “This is why I am raising my daughter to be independent and never rely on a man.
“It’s dangerous to rely on someone financially.”
Signs of financial abuse
- stopping you from going to work, college or university
- causing you to lose out on benefits by not letting you go to appointments at the Jobcentre or apply for jobs
- controlling your access to essential things, such as food, clothing or transport.
- forces you to take out money or get credit in your nameÂ
- makes you hand over control of your accounts – this could include changing your login details
- cashes in your pension or other cheques without your permission
- adds their name to your account
- pressures you to change your will in a way you’re not comfortable with
- has offered to buy shopping or pay bills with your money, but takes it, and doesn’t use the money how you agreed
- asks you prove what you’ve spent your money on
- stops you accessing your bank, loan or credit card accounts
- controls what you can and can’t spend your money on
- sets up Direct Debits from your account to pay bills which aren’t yours or pay for goods and services which you haven’t bought
- pressures you to arrange for your benefits to be paid into a bank account you don’t have access to
- pressures you to draw down, transfer or stop making pension payments
- makes you take out new insurance policies or stops you paying your existing ones.Â
- To gain access to help, you can contact Women’s Aid: on their website, and online chat service.
-  You can also call the freephone 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 200 0247
A second person said: “Everything you said is spot on.
“I’m seven years out of my divorce and trad wife experience and I’m still picking up the pieces of my life.
“I just graduated with a degree, though!”
A third said: “Very well said! Women need to put themselves first and wake up from the patriarchy.”
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A fourth added: ” Thank you for saying all of this and telling the truth about this subject!”
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